Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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