we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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