are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
