I just threw up on my dentist
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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