Rock
Scissors
Fuck
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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