guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
