also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
