i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
