I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
