they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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