nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
