So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
