so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
