Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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