I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
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This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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