he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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