WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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