Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
