youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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