hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
