I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
