I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
