): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
