Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
