I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
