If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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