Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
