Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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