After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
