Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize