how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
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