I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
