I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize