I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize