i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
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ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
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Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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