i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize