it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
