My brain says no but my pants say off.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
