chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize