Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
