i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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