i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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