so that wasnt chicken after all
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
