So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
