Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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