dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please come you make the beer taste better
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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