we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
