I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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