if i can run in heels then i can drive
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Randomize
