also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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