you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
