i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
