At least make sure they are 18
Why
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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