Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Randomize
