I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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