I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
