Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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