I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
