Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
