Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
as a side note pls kill me
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