Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
