those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
