not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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