if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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