Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
