I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
