Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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