you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
